[ there it is, when credence takes courage and attends to him. he has always been brave, his boy, but sometimes it just takes a little coaxing -- and it must be difficult to see someone you love bleeding all over the place and in pain. graves will know that better than anyone else; sometimes he has nightmares of credence bleeding out in that damned warehouse, still.
it doesn't make sense, and seeing the person you love hurt does something irrational to you, and graves doesn't blame credence for any of it. it hurts, it does, but graves forces himself to power through the pain, stifling a grimace when the antiseptic practically burns. but credence is stopping the bleeding, keeping up with the conversation and staying in the moment, and graves thinks he'll kiss him deeply when this is over. ]
You mean the Thestrals. [ he remembers that part of the conversation, at least. it's mundane, simple and easy, but this is what they both need to keep themselves centered, right? graves is gesturing for him to ease up off the pressure now, and he grits his teeth to start sewing himself up, reaching down to press the wound closed, his fingers slick with blood. keep talking to him, baby. ]
Did he give you some to try? You're always one of his favorites.
[ his brain still threatens to panic. it's there on the horizon, worrisome, trying to creep in at the edges of his mind. but he's trying his best and that's what matters, isn't it? that he's somehow managing to keep himself in check and focused. ] Yes, those. [ he moves his hand when he's instructed but the way graves holds the wound with slick fingers makes him frown. ] Your hand is going to slip. Let me do it. [ without even thinking. he will though, wiping his own gloved fingers on some gauze to dry them before pressing at it himself, holding it so graves can concentrate on stitching. breathe in, breathe out. back to what you were talking about. don't panic. you're fine. he's fine. ]
I had a couple of the broken ones from the tests... [ of course he did. ] The raspberry lemon ones were good, but I didn't like the ones with kiwi much. I don't remember the other fruit with them, it wasn't strawberry. Maybe coconut.[ he'd give a wry little smile here normally. ] Those ones are Queenie's favorite, though.
[ graves tells him, forcing his tone to be even and actually doing pretty well at it. credence is doing his best despite the upset, and that is all that graves can ask of him. despite everything, he lets credence take charge of what he can, watching him pressing down on the wound to prevent more blood from spilling. it's only a moment after that he can actually focus on the stitching. it takes twelve, but finally he's done, and graves finishes up, letting out a breath he doesn't know he'd been holding.
the pain is still there, sobering and aching, but graves has had worse in worse company, so all in all -- not too bad. ] Done. [ he smiles faintly. ] You did very well, Credence. Well done. [ he makes a note of credence's favorite flavors and reminds himself to buy those for him once kowalski's actually gotten the products up and running. his young lover tends to have a sweet tooth for these things, and graves pauses a moment, fishing out more gauze and bandages one-handedly. ] I like coconut.
[ it occurs to him that this is one of the rare, rare moments when graves tells him about himself. maybe the pain's gotten to him more than he'd thought. ]
[ credence is barely holding himself together and graves knows it. the praise is nice though, even if it feels unwarranted. credence's eyes never leave graves' work on the wound, soft and worried. when the danger has passed and only pain is left, credence wipes his hands again and snatches the gauze and bandages from graves so that he can do this part himself.
but then i like coconut and credence can't help but smile, chin tucking down slightly in embarrassment over being so happy being granted something so simple. it means a lot to him, though. once the bandaging is done he burrows into graves' shoulder for a moment, inhaling-exhaling slowly before he peels off the gloves and grasps graves' face gently in his hands, urging a kiss to his mouth softly. ] I love you. You can't leave me because of something like this, okay?
[ he still won't expect graves to say it back. of course he doesn't, because graves never says it. still, he looks at him a moment before speaking again. ] You need to rest. I can clean all of this up.
[ he kisses him back, forefinger and thumb grasping his chin. he doesn't let credence go -- that kiss, soft and sweet, is too short, and he's drawing him close again. graves might not say it, but he pours his feelings for him into the kiss, pressing another to his mouth, then another.
all things considered, credence has put up an impressive front; and there's something endearing about that embarrassed smile. he's leaning into his hands, in no particular hurry to do anything else. ]
I'm not going anywhere. [ he promises, noting how credence has done such a good job with the bandages. it's firm, and all he has to do is ride this out. his thumb smooths over credence's bottom lip when he pulls away briefly, never straying too far from him. but his mind strays to more practical matters, just for a few moments. ] Did Kowalski ask you to work for him?
[ credence can feel it in the kisses, leaning into them and exhaling shakily against his mouth in between. he'll clean up later: now that he's stopped focusing on wound care all he can think of is making sure that graves is still here, still with him, whole and solid and not about to slip through his fingers like grains of sand.
i love you, he doesn't repeat, but he thinks it. instead: ] Good. I need you too much.
[ he presses a gentle kiss to the pad of graves' thumb thoughtlessly, then looks at him, dark eyes searching his face before he nods slightly. ] He did. He said he likes my ideas and he could use the help. How did you know?
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it doesn't make sense, and seeing the person you love hurt does something irrational to you, and graves doesn't blame credence for any of it. it hurts, it does, but graves forces himself to power through the pain, stifling a grimace when the antiseptic practically burns. but credence is stopping the bleeding, keeping up with the conversation and staying in the moment, and graves thinks he'll kiss him deeply when this is over. ]
You mean the Thestrals. [ he remembers that part of the conversation, at least. it's mundane, simple and easy, but this is what they both need to keep themselves centered, right? graves is gesturing for him to ease up off the pressure now, and he grits his teeth to start sewing himself up, reaching down to press the wound closed, his fingers slick with blood. keep talking to him, baby. ]
Did he give you some to try? You're always one of his favorites.
no subject
I had a couple of the broken ones from the tests... [ of course he did. ] The raspberry lemon ones were good, but I didn't like the ones with kiwi much. I don't remember the other fruit with them, it wasn't strawberry. Maybe coconut.[ he'd give a wry little smile here normally. ] Those ones are Queenie's favorite, though.
no subject
[ graves tells him, forcing his tone to be even and actually doing pretty well at it. credence is doing his best despite the upset, and that is all that graves can ask of him. despite everything, he lets credence take charge of what he can, watching him pressing down on the wound to prevent more blood from spilling. it's only a moment after that he can actually focus on the stitching. it takes twelve, but finally he's done, and graves finishes up, letting out a breath he doesn't know he'd been holding.
the pain is still there, sobering and aching, but graves has had worse in worse company, so all in all -- not too bad. ] Done. [ he smiles faintly. ] You did very well, Credence. Well done. [ he makes a note of credence's favorite flavors and reminds himself to buy those for him once kowalski's actually gotten the products up and running. his young lover tends to have a sweet tooth for these things, and graves pauses a moment, fishing out more gauze and bandages one-handedly. ] I like coconut.
[ it occurs to him that this is one of the rare, rare moments when graves tells him about himself. maybe the pain's gotten to him more than he'd thought. ]
no subject
but then i like coconut and credence can't help but smile, chin tucking down slightly in embarrassment over being so happy being granted something so simple. it means a lot to him, though. once the bandaging is done he burrows into graves' shoulder for a moment, inhaling-exhaling slowly before he peels off the gloves and grasps graves' face gently in his hands, urging a kiss to his mouth softly. ] I love you. You can't leave me because of something like this, okay?
[ he still won't expect graves to say it back. of course he doesn't, because graves never says it. still, he looks at him a moment before speaking again. ] You need to rest. I can clean all of this up.
no subject
all things considered, credence has put up an impressive front; and there's something endearing about that embarrassed smile. he's leaning into his hands, in no particular hurry to do anything else. ]
I'm not going anywhere. [ he promises, noting how credence has done such a good job with the bandages. it's firm, and all he has to do is ride this out. his thumb smooths over credence's bottom lip when he pulls away briefly, never straying too far from him. but his mind strays to more practical matters, just for a few moments. ] Did Kowalski ask you to work for him?
no subject
i love you, he doesn't repeat, but he thinks it. instead: ] Good. I need you too much.
[ he presses a gentle kiss to the pad of graves' thumb thoughtlessly, then looks at him, dark eyes searching his face before he nods slightly. ] He did. He said he likes my ideas and he could use the help. How did you know?