[ it's something a little sadly funny, isn't it? that things he'd learned over the years to protect himself from the pain his mother inflicts on him in her cruelty would help him here too, with the way graves is carefully trying to prepare him for what comes next, for something pleasurable that he's suddenly desperate to feel even though he knows it will definitely hurt at first--this time the pain will wane, turn into something he enjoys, and even any soreness later (that he's not thinking about at the moment) will just be a reminder of something pleasant.
it's no wonder that his heart cries out to graves for this, for anything he can get from him.
it's a combination of forcing himself to relax and the continued gentleness of graves' fingers thrusting into him, pulling back, and pressing in again that slowly eases him into it, allows him to feel better, to feel something good and he lets out a soft oh of surprise that's almost a gasp, back arching just enough to be noticeable. another sound is more like a barely-there mm before he can gather his thoughts enough to answer. ] No... [ a shaking inhale. ] No, never. I was... going to try, once, but I was afraid so I didn't. [ he sounds almost breathless as he speaks, licking his lips. ]
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it's no wonder that his heart cries out to graves for this, for anything he can get from him.
it's a combination of forcing himself to relax and the continued gentleness of graves' fingers thrusting into him, pulling back, and pressing in again that slowly eases him into it, allows him to feel better, to feel something good and he lets out a soft oh of surprise that's almost a gasp, back arching just enough to be noticeable. another sound is more like a barely-there mm before he can gather his thoughts enough to answer. ] No... [ a shaking inhale. ] No, never. I was... going to try, once, but I was afraid so I didn't. [ he sounds almost breathless as he speaks, licking his lips. ]